There’s no denying that sometimes it feels great to disconnect from the world. We live in a society with smartphones, information, and entertainment at our fingertips! The mindlessness of scrolling, watching, and reading instantly is a much needed distraction from the stresses of daily life, including parenting.
It’s no secret that raising children can be challenging, and it is all too normal to want to find ways to put your mind at ease. Is it possible, though, that excessive phone use is actually distracting parents too much?
The Reality of Divided Attention
Divided attention is also known at multi-tasking, where we tend to focus on multiple tasks at one time. With all the hustle and bustle of daily life with children, parents often find themselves multi-tasking a lot. However, our brains are not as equipped to multi-task as we may believe. When attention is split, performance during tasks often suffers. So, while we are trying to watch or play with our children, and also scroll through our phones, we are not providing full attention towards our little ones. This may cause some unforeseen circumstances.
Impact on Parent-Child Relationships
Phones create a barrier for parents and their children. It’s difficult to connect with someone who is seemingly focused on something else. These distractions are causing parents to miss out on bonding moments with their kids, ultimately leaving children feeling unimportant.
Children are also like sponges, absorbing the environment around them. They tend to model behaviors they see. When they see their caregivers prioritizing phone use over personal interactions, they view this as normal behavior. Chances are, they will do the same thing, creating a new cycle of technology dependence.
Emotional Consequences
Growing up with parents who are always distracted, children cannot develop regulation skills properly. Kids need undivided attention, guidance, and availability from their caregivers in order to learn how to navigate the world around them. If a child is showing excitement, sadness, or the need for reassurance, and a parent cannot provide them comfort due to their attention being elsewhere, this may lead to feelings of insecurity and emotional disconnect.
Communication Skills
Social interactions between parent and child are crucial for verbal and non-verbal communication skills to develop. This may include learning social cues, manners, facial expressions, carrying on conversations, eye contact, and expressing their emotions. When social interactions are disrupted by technology, there are fewer opportunities for communication. Without learning proper social skills, children may have a difficult time meeting new people and making friends when they start school.
Strategies for Mindful Phone Use
It’s unrealistic to say you need to completely eliminate phone use. In fact, it’s going to be beneficial to model healthy phone use! Here are some practical tips for managing phone use:
- Set Boundaries: Designate specific places and times throughout the house where phone use is limited. Dinner time, bedtime, and playtime are great places to start. As kids get older, there can be a time where phones are put away during homework or spending quality family time.
- Use Technology Wisely: Most phones today have “do not disturb” settings or app timers that restrict the use of the phone after a set amount of time. When being with children, turn off the phone, or prioritize important calls or texts while limiting non-essential phone use.
- Engage in Quality Time: Make an effort to engage in activities with children that allow opportunities for connection and communication. This may include reading together, playing a game, or just talking about your days.
- Seek Professional Help: It’s possible that you may not even realize your phone use is a problem. If you are suspecting an issue with you or your children, seek help from a mental health professional. Therapists can help teach mindful skills and find more effective ways to manage stress rather than turning to phones. Reach out today!