As children grow and learn how to navigate through social situations, they may start off as being a little shy. Over time, children develop social skills, which gives them more confidence. However, some children experience intense anxiety when faced with socialization.
Do not mistake anxiety for shyness. In fact, anxiety can sometimes become so severe that it affects relationships with peers, performance in school, and participation in daily activities.
What Is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety is a persistent fear of social or performance situations where the individual fears they may be judged, embarrassed, or humiliated. In children, these fears are present at school, playdates, and even family gatherings. Unlike shyness, social anxiety can cause intense distress and lead to anxious behaviors that interfere with their development.
Signs of Social Anxiety in Children
While adults have the skills to express how they’re feeling, children may struggle to put their emotions into words. Instead, their anxiety presents in emotional or behavioral ways.
Avoidance of Social Situations
Children with social anxiety often go out of their way to avoid people, or to not be the center of attention.
- A child might refuse to attend parties or playdates.
- They may avoid group activities at school, like raising their hand in class or participating in group projects.
- They may even refuse to go to school altogether, especially if there is a presentation or group activity planned for that day.
Intense Fear of Embarrassment
Children with social anxiety often have an overwhelming fear of doing something embarrassing. They may feel:
- Fear of answering questions incorrectly in class
- Worry about being made fun of for their appearance, voice, or behavior
- Reluctance to eat in front of others, join games, or use public restrooms
This fear of embarrassment causes children to become excessively self-conscious and lowering their self-esteem.
Clinginess or Dependence on Caregivers
Children may become overly reliant on their parents or caregivers for comfort, especially in unfamiliar situations. Children may:
- Refuse to separate from a parent at school or an event
- Insist on having a parent stay with them in social settings
- Experience tantrums or meltdowns when faced with separation from a caregiver
Difficulty Making or Keeping Friends
Social anxiety makes it hard for kids to form friendships. Even if they long for social connections, their fears often hold them back. As a result, children can:
- Struggle to initiate conversations or join in to play
- Withdraw from peer interactions, choosing to sit alone or engage in solo activities
- Feel overwhelmed in situations with multiple children, such as at recess or in sports teams
The Impact of Social Anxiety on Children
- Academic Challenges: Because of their fear of participating in class, they may avoid answering questions, doing group projects, or giving presentations. Over time, this may lead to failing grades and poor academic performance.
- Social Isolation: A fear of judgement prevents children from maintaining and making friends, leaving them feeling lonely and disconnected from their world.
- Low Self-Esteem: When a child believes they are constantly being judged or that they are not capable of handling social situations, their self-worth can plummet.
What Parents Can Do
If you start to suspect your child has social anxiety, early intervention is key.
- Encourage Gradual Exposure: Encourage your child to engage in scary situations gradually. Start with small, manageable steps, like inviting one friend over to play, then slowly build up to more challenging situations.
- Avoid Overprotection: It can be tempting to shield your child from anxiety-provoking situations, but overprotecting them can reinforce their fears. Instead, provide support while also gently encouraging your child to conquer their fears.
- Seek Professional Help: One of the best ways to help your child overcome social anxiety is to schedule them with a mental health professional. Therapists can help with the development of coping skills and allowing them to feel more confident in their social skills. Help them conquer their anxiety and schedule their first session today!