1. Remember to Breathe
In the midst of a parenting crisis, it can be easy to forget what is perhaps the simplest tool to calm yourself down. BREATHE! Taking a few deep breaths can help calm your nerves and gain some clarity in the situation. Try this:
- Inhale deeply through your nose for 4 seconds.
- Hold your breath for another 4 seconds.
- Exhale slowly out of your mouth for 8 seconds.
- Repeat this process until you feel a sense of calm and relaxation.
This simple exercise can help you regain composure and handle the situation effectively.
2. Establish Routines
Children thrive on following routines. Having a consistent schedule for them can actually prevent many moments of extreme meltdowns before they happen. Establishing regular mealtimes, bedtimes, bath times, and play times will create a sense of security and predictability for your child. It also helps you manage your day-to-day more effectively.
When children know what to expect, they’re less likely to resist or throw tantrums, making those challenging moments much less frequent and more manageable.
3. Practice Self-Compassion
No one is a perfect parent. When things don’t go how you expect, be kind to yourself. Children have intense emotions that are hard to regulate, and that is not your fault. Temper tantrums do not mean you are a bad parent. Remind yourself that it is okay to struggle. Self-compassion can look like:
- Taking breaks when you need them.
- Talking to yourself as you would talk to a loved one.
- Recognizing your efforts and celebrating your small victories.
Remember, a compassionate parent is more resilient and better equipped to handle tough moments.
4. Find Social Supports
In times of extreme stress, it can be tempting to isolate yourself from others. Be sure to reach out to friends, family, or engage in parenting support groups to share your experiences and seek advice. Sometimes, all you need to know is that you are not alone. Many parents struggle with their children, and it can be very comforting to find others with similar experiences to lean on.
Stay connected with social supports and schedule times, without children, to hangout with people and be yourself.
5. Focus on the Big Picture
When situations are heated, parents may forget the reason they are putting up with these behaviors. Take a step back and remind yourself of the big picture. You are raising a child who, at the moment, cannot place their thoughts and feelings into words. How you respond to them will shape how they grow and learn to handle their emotions. Think of the values and the love you want to instill in them. By modeling to them calming techniques by enduring your own emotions effectively, you will teach your children how to navigate these tantrums quickly.
Next Steps
While these tips can be extremely useful, they may not always work. It’s important to know that there are other resources out there, such as seeking help from a mental health professional. Professionals can offer objective perspectives on reoccurring issues and help parents with changing possible negative thought processes. They can provide coping skills for parents who can also teach these skills to their children. Lastly, therapists can provide valuable insight into any underlying issues that could be affecting your parenting.
Don’t endure these challenging moments alone. Reach out and schedule a session today!