Self-esteem is more than just feeling good about ourselves. It influences our perception of our self-image, interactions with others, and how to approach and solve life’s challenges. Parental figures play a role in the development of self-esteem, and it begins in childhood. As parents and caregivers, how can you build positive and healthy self-esteem in your children, and why does it matter?
Why Does Self-Esteem Matter?
When children feel confident in their abilities, they are more willing to try new things. Self-esteem fosters pride, helps with coping and overcoming mistakes, as well as helps them form healthy relationships.
Children with low self-esteem often feel unsure of themselves, being hesitant to make friends, stand up for themselves, or be involved with activities at all. When they fail, they struggle with coping, leading to emotional distress and frustrations.
So what helps with raising self-esteem?
1. Praise Traits and Behaviors
It feels good to be told what others like about us, and this is no exception for children. Rather than just saying general statements such as, “good job,” be more specific. Praise traits of theirs that you like, for example, “I love how kind you are! You are so nice to your friends by helping them clean up.” When providing praise, remember to be selective about what you’re praising and sound genuine.
2. Celebrate Their Differences
Children are observant, including what makes them different from other children. Instead of having them feel shame for being different, celebrate their unique qualities. Ask your child what they don’t like about their differences and help them see that you love everything about them, and they should, too.
3. Focus on Strengths
Pay close attention to what your child is good at. If they enjoy an activity, encourage them to do it more. Give them opportunities to develop these skills. Try not to dwell on what your child did “wrong”. If it’s a behavior, correct it while also giving them feedback on what they do well.
4. Teach Resilience
A part of building self-esteem is understanding that there will be times of failure. Setbacks are all a part of life, and they are great learning opportunities. Highlighting failures as positives can help your child build resilience and never give up when they make mistakes. Support their problem-solving by helping them find solutions.
5. Promote Independence
Allow your children to make decisions for themselves, even if you do not agree with them. A part of growing up is making choices, and dealing with whatever consequences those choices bring. You can teach good decision-making skills as well as how to take accountability for actions. Put your trust in them to learn responsibility by completing tasks, chores, and schoolwork.
6. Be a Positive Role Model
Children learn by watching those around them. Parents and caregivers should try their best to set a good example. Model positive attitudes and behaviors, tackle challenges with confidence, and take pride in the work that you do. Help your children identify other positive role models in the media. With so much exposure to celebrities and internet influencers, it may benefit your child to help them find qualities about them to look up to.
7. Encourage Healthy Relationships
Healthy relationships with peers and family members help to build self-esteem. Caregivers should encourage their child to form friendships that bring them joy and instill their self-confidence, participate in group activities, like sports or after-school extracurriculars, and to develop social skills. Feeling connected and accepted by others reinforces feelings of belonging and helps with self-esteem.
8. Professional Help
Parenting is hard, and sometimes you need a little extra help. Mental health professionals, like therapists or counselors, can help your child with their self-esteem, while also providing you with powerful resources to support your child at home. Surrounding your child with unconditional love and support will help them grow and develop a positive self-image. Reach out today to set up an appointment!