The postpartum period, also known as the 4th trimester, and the months following childbirth, is often glorified as a blissful time filled with love and bonding.
For many new parents, it can feel like an emotional rollercoaster that goes way beyond the “baby blues.” Baby blues often pass within a few days. Postpartum Depression (PPD) lingers and deepens, impacting a person’s ability to connect, function, and even recognize themselves. So what does PPD truly feel like?
1. A Constant Weight of Hopelessness and Guilt
The heaviness that accompanies PPD can feel like a constant burden. Many experience the weight of hopelessness that makes each day feel like an impossible task, alongside the overwhelming guilt for not feeling the joy they expected in parenthood.
- Hopelessness: It can feel like being trapped in a tunnel with no light at the end. For some, even routine tasks and self-care feel pointless.
- Failure: The intense feelings of guilt are often due to feelings of inadequacies. Many wonder why they can’t feel happy and think, “Am I a failure as a parent?”
- Expectations: Society paints parenthood as this purely joyous experience. The struggles of painting are never shown, creating a conflict for those feeling anything but joy.
2. Intense Anxiety and Constant Worry
PPD often brings an intense anxiety that can make even small concerns spiral into overwhelming fears. Many report feeling on edge constantly, worried about their baby’s health, their parenting abilities, and even their own sense of self.
- Obsessive Worry: New parents with PPD may find themselves excessively worrying about their baby, and going to the extreme of constantly checking to make sure they are breathing.
- Catastrophic Thinking: Anxiety escalates small worries into large fears, making issues into something much larger than they actually are.
- Social Anxiety: Many develop a fear of judgement, dreading social interactions and feeling they must hide their true feelings around friends and family.
3. Detachment and Disconnection
The inability to connect with your baby, or even with yourself, is a painful symptom of PPD. This detachment can further feelings of guilt and shame, as the person struggles with being unable to feel the love they expected to feel after birth.
- Difficulty Bonding: For some, holding their baby doesn’t create an instant bond, but feels unfamiliar and distressing.
- Feeling Out of Body: Many describe feeling like they’re just going through the motions rather than actively engaging in life.
- Lost Sense of Self: Alongside disconnecting from their baby, many feel they’ve lost who they were before their child, unable to enjoy hobbies or interests.
4. Emotional Numbness and Loss of Interest
PPD is not always feelings of sadness; it can also present as numbness. Those with PPD may struggle to feel anything at all, which can be just as difficult as overwhelming sadness.
- Emotional Flatness: Rather than sadness, there may be a lingering emptiness, as if emotions are shut off.
- Loss of Joy: Activities that once brought relief and pleasure now feel meaningless.
- Disassociation: People start to feel that they are just existing and cannot seem to tap into their minds or bodies.
5. Fatigue and Physical Symptoms
Physical exhaustion in PPD is more than just feeling tired. It’s a lingering, draining weight that even sleep can’t help.
- Unending Fatigue: Sleep offers little relief, and as the fatigue continues, it makes it harder to get out of bed each day.
- Body Aches: Headaches, stomachaches, or general body pain can make daily tasks even more difficult.
- Appetite Changes: Many can experience a loss of appetite, while others turn to food for comfort.
Finding Hope and Support
Postpartum Depression can feel like an endless, lonely journey. However, there is help available! Therapy, support groups, and being mindful of needs can alleviate symptoms and provide a lifeline for struggling parents. You are not alone! Do research of professionals in your community and get the help you deserve today. Being a woman, a mother, a partner in today’s world can be a lot. We are here to support. Don’t hesitate to email or call us for a free phone consultation to see if therapy might be helpful.