Creating a Better Connection with your Teen: A Parent’s Guide
The teen years get a bad reputation because during this time opinions are forming, roles are shifting, and it can be frustrating for both parents
Child, Adolescent, & Adult Counseling of Denver
Empowering You To Live in Freedom
Do you have trouble setting limits or boundaries with your child or teenager?
Now that your child is older, have the two of you lost the connection that you once had?
Are they withdrawing more than usual and spending more time away from you?
Maybe you’re currently navigating the grief of your child growing up and becoming someone more independent. Perhaps they used to run to you in times of distress and look up to you as the most amazing person in the world. Yet now they prefer to keep their distance, rely on their friends for support, and invest their time and energy in other things. While you’re happy to see your child become their own person, part of you feels sad. You might even feel rejected at times. As a result, perhaps you’re thinking that it’s time to see a counselor who specializes in providing parenting support.
When you look back on the way that you were raised, maybe you’re determined to do things differently. Yet the more time goes by, the more you find yourself defaulting to the same strategies your parents used. This could lead to frustration and self-doubt about your parenting abilities. Perhaps you’re struggling to find a healthy balance between strictness and leniency—you want to let your child have their independence now that they’re older, but you don’t want to be absent or neglectful.
Thankfully, you don’t have to wrestle with these challenges alone. At Denver CAC, our therapists are trained and equipped to help you communicate more effectively, set healthier limits and boundaries, and get the parenting support you need. We’re confident that we can do the same for you.
Unfortunately, there is no magical manual for parenting. It’s a process of trial-and-error, since every child is different. Growing up, many of our parents told us, “When I was your age, I listened when I was told to do X,” but it’s unrealistic to expect children to be carbon copies of their parents. One child may respond well to something while another child doesn’t.
Because each child is unique, trying to figure out the right approach to parenting can feel like rocket science. This is especially the case in the internet age, when there is such a constant overload of information about parenting techniques. All over blogs and social media, different parenting influencers tout their way of parenting over all the others. As a result, many parents feel like they’re sifting through an ocean of confusing and contradictory advice.
Oftentimes, parents are so determined not to repeat their parents’ mistakes that they overcompensate and pendulum-swing in the opposite direction. If their parents were too strict, they end up giving their kids too much independence and too little accountability; if their parents were too lenient, they end up enforcing too many rules and boundaries.
The truth is that, when you love your children, it’s hard to know when to implement discipline and when to give grace. It’s hard to know when to get involved and when to let go. That’s why parenting counseling is so vital. It’s a chance to step back, gain clarity on your child’s needs, and overcome limiting beliefs and self-doubt about your parenting abilities.
Based on our deep understanding of children and attachment work, our therapists can help you create a better bond with your child and learn valuable new parenting strategies. Together, we’ll work on communication, boundary-setting, and problem-solving, all while doing the deeper work of exploring the traumas and emotional wounds that you’ve brought into parenting. We can help you assess whether your parenting expectations are realistic and teach you to be more gracious and compassionate toward yourself.
Denver CAC provides counseling services for new parents, single parents, and foster and adoptive parents. Our counselors will help you develop skills that are unique to your child and your situation. We recognize that there is no one way to parent—one of your children may respond to one style of parenting, while the other responds to another style. Our mission is to help you make your parenting style work with each child’s different needs. We are here to listen to you, validate your concerns, and support you as you explore new ways of relating to your child.
You are welcome to pursue parenting counseling by yourself or with your partner if you desire. The main focus of our parenting sessions is on understanding your child. We want to help you learn to empathize with your child in moments of frustration and identify their needs when they’re acting out or getting upset. Once you understand where your child is coming from and why they do what they do, it becomes much easier to communicate with them. Instead of reacting out of impulse or defaulting to unhelpful parenting techniques, you can respond carefully, thoughtfully, and mindfully.
Our practice takes an attachment-based approach to therapy, and we draw from a wide range of approaches to help parents improve their relationships with their kids. We can utilize narrative therapy to explore the anxieties and insecurities from your own upbringing that impact your parenting today. We can also use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to challenge negative beliefs about you as a parent (such as “I’m not loving enough” or “I’ll never be as good as other parents”) and mindfulness techniques to help you self-regulate when you feel frustrated with your children.
Ultimately, we recognize that you’re doing the best you can with the tools, knowledge, and resources you have. As a practice, it’s our goal to validate what you’re doing well and help you increase your self-compassion. When you are kind to yourself, it becomes so much easier to parent with confidence and create a deeper, more meaningful connection with your child.
No, it shows that you love your child deeply and you’re doing all you can to improve as a parent. When you look at social media, it may seem like every other parent has it all together, but in reality they’re likely struggling, too. It takes courage to get support, but in the end, think of the end-goal: a healthier relationship with your child or teenager. That is what matters most!
Our practice specializes in working with kids, teens, and parents in a therapeutic setting. Over the years, we’ve learned quite a bit about the parent-child bond and the barriers to stronger parent-child relationships. Between our training, experience, and expertise, we believe that we can help you and your child experience a deeper connection than ever before.
The timetable is different for every parent, so we encourage you to be patient with yourself as you work on fostering a deeper relationship with your child. That said, this is skills-based work—we’re giving you practical skills and tools that you can apply to your life with ease, so it’s normal to see progress develop quickly. We are experts in child psychology and attachment, and we know how to build a strong foundation on which to grow your parenting skills.
Denver CAC has helped hundreds of parents deepen their relationships with their children, and we believe that our approach to counseling can equip you with the skills to do likewise. To learn more, you can use the contact form or call us at 303-835-6992.
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