Why is it that toddlers, as much as we love them, act in such frustrating ways? They throw tantrums, they pick their noses, they insist on saying no to everything, and they like to repeat things over and over and over again. Is that kind of behavior normal? And if so, how can we help them develop when we struggle not to snap at them every time they act out?
As it happens, many annoying behaviors from toddlers are vital to their development. That’s unfortunate for us, especially during our worst days, when we feel like anything might set us off. But it’s possible to help them develop even when we find them annoying. It just means we have to keep in mind a few things.
Be Patient
Have you noticed yourself repeating the same rules over and over? Don’t draw on the walls, don’t bite other children. But you can say it once, you can say it twice, and your toddler still doesn’t get it.
Patience is the real trick. Lessons and messages take time to sink in. You may have repeated the rule twice, but you will likely need to repeat it five, six, seven more times, and maybe then it might stick. The trick is to persevere, to keep repeating it until your toddler finally gets it.
And they will get it. It just takes a little time and a few reminders on your part. This can seem very annoying, but it will be worth it in the long run.
Remember Their Age
Do you find yourself expecting your toddler to act older than they are? You might not necessarily treat them like an adult, but you might find yourself treating them like they’re well above their current age, with a little more life experience under their belt.
It’s understandable, especially when they’re behaving annoyingly, and you need another thirty minutes to finish doing something really important. But your toddler is still very much a toddler. They won’t wait thirty minutes for you to finish what you’re doing just to ask for something.
That doesn’t mean you should run to them at every command, it just means to make sure you keep it realistic. Remember how old they are, remember how they’re likely to behave at that age, and find a compromise. Maybe, if what you want is to wash dishes, you can round up every dirty dish in the house first and then see what your toddler wants. That’s more likely to be successful than making them wait until after you’ve washed everything in the house.
Find Balance
Toddlers are notorious for their attempts at independence: putting their own shoes on, eating on their own. Toddler independence is also notorious for being very annoying and time-consuming, but it’s important to their development. The trick is to find the right balance between letting them develop that independence, and also putting your foot down when you need to.
If you absolutely need to get out of the house within twenty minutes, then finish dressing your toddler yourself, even if they want to be the ones to put their shoes on. But if you’re just going for a walk and you don’t need to rush, then let them finish getting dressed on their own. Encourage their independence, but also remember that sometimes, things just need to be done quickly.
Talk to Someone
Parenting is difficult, and sometimes frustrations just stay with you even when you don’t want them to. Counseling can help you deal with all these unresolved annoyances. Play Therapy can help your child regulate so you can be in more harmony together. So, don’t hesitate to schedule an appointment with us. With our help, you will be able to focus on bringing up your child as best you can without neglecting your own emotional needs.